Big circle

after broke up,struggling...
now,we back together again.
thats the best thing which happened on the very first day of new year.
confession..tears...
a great hug.
the best explaination for what happened on 2009.the day we broke up.

now,we are even more happy than before..
both of our parents knew our relationship.
a sweet couple which got the permission from the elder.
dont have to hide and seek.anymore...
how best it is.

although we dont call each other gf or bf.
we dont admit.
but in our heart.he is my bf..and im his gf.no doubt.
he dont promise me anything.caused we had learnt the lesson.
dont simply deal with promises if you think you cant make it.
but i do believe in what i feel.
he really serious with what he doing now.
he wants me to be happy,
he wants me to be mature,
he wants me to be who i am,
he wants me to believe in my own,
he wants me to believe that i deserve to be loved,
he wants me to believe he loves me.
he wants me to believe,what happen in this second,is all real...

it is really what i hope and wish..
it really came true.
a man who i really loved.
so comfortable.....*hugs.

im the most lucky one in the world!XD

How are you?

this post,im dedicating to someone.
(i know you know is you)

How are you??
im scared to reply you in FB.
what can i do just read what you post on FB,
and think whether is it related to me?
you seem so moody.
i want to know what happened to you,
yet im affraid that i might make you feel uncomfortable if i still so care about you,
dont want to see you sad..
try to avoid you,not to sms you so often..
i think thats what i should do..
hope that you wont angry with me,
hmm..i just dont know what i should do.
haih....

Is this what i want?

Im happy..Things jus happened like what i expected.
=D
But,i dint expect that in the same time,i lose a friend..
hmm.i really what i should do so i can get what i hope but not hurting the another one.
aihs.

im happy,and..im getting more greedy.
but,i promised..i will slowly let go of him..
when i read Li Kee's blog,
Goshh,that feeling comes to me again.
i have to learn how to get use to it.
smile..yean teng smile..

slowly get onto the track of life

i slowly used to my life,staying at Damansara with Christine.Everyday wake up at 7.30 to clean up and preparing myself to Segi.Drive every morning,park my red kenari at the same place,walking up the same staircases,turn the same door knob to open the door.Checkout my FB,read JingYee and LiKee's blog.Checkout latest news in FB.Hang out for lunch with the same gang of people.Everyday thinking the same question:"what to eat?where to go?".And now,once a week..i will meet up with him.
BingXiong asked me:"how can i maintain this kind of relationship with him?"
I said:"I dont know.I just know that now we can maintain at this stage of relationship and eventhough not going any furthur,im satisfied and happy.Thats what i want and i wont be greedy."
And i asked Jason the same question BingXiong asked me.
He said if both party can bear with that kind relationship,it can last very long.
I've to admit that i cant get rid of his caring.The way he whisper to me,really make my heart melt and i feel like..can i just give myself a rest,for not being independant,at the moment??..haha,i bet everyone shocked when see both of us stick together,feed me with food,comfort me by touching my head when im slping..However,both of us very clear that we are not couple,we are just friends.Is better for us to stay like this,we will be more happy,and i dont have to cry every night,anymore.
So..yeah,yeanteng.Don't regret,for being stupid.=D

i'm glad

what i have now,might not be exactly what im craving.But,i feel so lucky to have it.My friends...
Su Li
although you are younger than me,but we can be such a good and close friend in two months,its not easy.I'm glad to have you as my very close girl friend.XD..aww.
Keng Boon
thanks for planning a great birthday lunch for me.At first when i knew you,i have bad impression on you,but now..you are in my friend list already.bbf!
Elson
thanks for celebrating my birthday with me,right on 14th of nov.i'm glad that you always listen to me,understand me..give me advice.be with me.i do appreciated.everything..thanks alot!
Bing Xiong
Gor,i know you always clear with what you should do,dont always put the blame on your own.Do what you should do now.endless support from me!from everyone of us.I'm always proud that i have you as my gor!
Darren
dont lose weight anymore,health is more important than anything.=D.cant wait for 8month to pass.i miss you so much!!
Jason
Something happened between you and me.i dont crave for more,i hope this relationship can just stay..i love the way you whisper to me. and your shoulder+chest.
Jia Le
you know why i want to scold you,its for your own good.i cares you just like the others.i know you know.=D
Christine
i feel so comfortable to have some pillow talks with you,off the light..we shall just talk until both of us fall asleep.

is this the way i want it to be?

had a very great birthday celebration with Jason,Jiale,BingXiong,Aaron,Kokhoe,Jayvin,LiFen at Tao.I dont know why,i just feel like sitting beside him.He is stilll very caring.I like to look at him.
IF....that incident dint happen,this might be the second times he celebrating my birthday for me.He gave me a dolphin necklace as my present.After dinner,Jiale,Jason and BingXiong went back with me,we took our sweet time,chatting with each other,lecturing JiaLe..and in between that,some chemistry happened in between me and him.He touched my head,pampering me like he used to be.Im happy,yet im worried.He help me wear the necklace on.Now,i dont feel like taking it off.Then,around 3,everyone felt so tired and Jia Le started to fell asleep.Three of us,start our stories time.BingXiong started to telling things going on between him and JingYee.Then Jason's turn.He told us about the girls he had a crush on after me.Then,around 5,they asked me to take a nap because 2 hr later i have to start preparing to go for placement already.He asked me to sleep on his tummy,which BingXiong always wanted to.I dint think twice,i slept on it.I smiled.But i found that my head is too heavy,he cant breath properly.So he ask me to sleep on his chest.T.T....My long lost comfortable chest.Sobs...........After a while,he went out.Then,i couldn't sleep at all.I keep asking myself,what happen to me?this shouldnt happened again.This shouldnt happened again!I used so much hardwork to wipe him off my brain,not to care about him anymore,not to think about him anymore.We are just friends.Sigh,we are just friends.YeanTeng,stop pushing yourself towards fire.Why you know its hurt and you still trying it again?ARRRGHHH...cried without reason,im not sad,im not happy..i dont know why.

i moved to Carmila,
today is the fifth day..
=D.
i manage to drive properly and calm.
from the flat to Segi,to Sunway Giza.....

lols,nobody dare to sit inside my car.
seriously,the way i drive is so dangerous.
mwhaha..
thats why,my car got scratched.
T.T.

haha,swt swt...
just for a few days,im close with those guards at my flat.
i just have to wave and smile with them,
i dont need pass in order to go in.=D...
lols.although i already bought the pass.

life is fun over there,had supper with christine at mamak late in the night.
share and gossip.until both of us fall aslp..its was 2'clock in the morning.
=D.
everything is fine over there,just a little bit warm and bored.